GOOD GRIEF?
I love the start of a brand-new year! To me, it’s kind of like setting out on a visionary expedition through a range of majestic mountains through crisp, fresh air with breathtaking views, the intoxicating fragrance of mountain pines, and sunrise breakfasts with tons of bacon over a nice warm fire. Ahhh…
That’s the feel of a new year of fresh starts, hopeful reboots, reachable resolutions, and many more hopeful things, right?
But where is the best place to start in approaching these things? How can we enter these thoughtful changes in a way that will spawn the greatest possibilities of being successful and sustainable? Well, the older I get the more I am discovering a deeper starting place for the greatest possibility of success than most people think about. This is why it may surprise you.
It is not a strong will, as most would imagine. It is not creative thinking or strategic planning. Nor is it even loyal partnerships. Those are very important, to be sure. But they will not be very useful and sustainable approaches unless you start at a much deeper place…
Soul care.
How kind are you to your own soul or heart? How much attention do you give it? How healthy and strong, or wounded and broken is it? Do you have a clue? This is soul care, my friends. This is where the real you springs from, or gets clogged up. So—how does soul care work? Well, let’s take a peek.
First, you have to be honest with yourself. How far can you get with fresh starts, reboots, and resolutions with half-hearted, wounded efforts, rather than whole-hearted, healthy efforts? Not too far, right?
Second, start answering the questions I introduced above: How heavy, hard, wounded, stressed, splintered and/or broken is your heart?
What kind of experiences, memories, losses and narratives keep spinning around your mind and heart that keep you up at night, weary throughout the day, angry about the past, discouraged in the present, and desperate about the future? This is where our soul grieves.
I know that most of us don’t like to talk about this, but we need to. With someone we trust who can help us work through a third thing.
Grieve your losses. This is where God can use our dearest family, a close friend, a trusted pastor, or insightful counselor to rescue us out of bad grief and lead us through “good grief.”
Bad grief is when we shut down and isolate ourselves in a dark fog of negative, hopeless narratives plaguing our mind and soul.
Good grief is when we let one or two of those people I mentioned above help us literally list, genuinely feel, emotionally vent, slowly release, and progressively forgive what has hurt us, and continually abide in the Lord to let Him restore and heal our shattered souls or broken hearts. This is why the Scripture says:
A happy (healed) heart is good medicine, but a broken (still grieving) spirit dries up the bones. I love that promise. Only God can heal our souls or hearts. However …
He doesn’t do so if we’re standing at a distance in anger, irritation, and/or despair until He gets with the program and heals our uncooperative heart. No, He does it when we are brave and honest enough to own, admit, and stand in our own pain, and humbly ask Him to come and heal our ravaged heart … slowly … gently … and lovingly. But that takes time. That’s why I pray that you will not put this off. Jesus is waiting, and He is listening.
After the dark of the night, joy can come in the morning, and in the new year, my friends. And it is just on the other side of “good grief.”
Healing in Him with you,
Pastor Mark
Broadcasts/articles/videos at markpg.org. Hear me every Saturday at 8 a.m. on 91.5 FM!
